Sunday, January 19, 2014

Made To Crave: Online Bible Study - Week 1 - Journal

My Word:


I have to be honest and say that this word is not resonating with me right now.  I will have to pray and reflect on this word to see what God has in mind for me.

My Verse:

Psalm 84:2, My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the Lord, 
my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God.

God, I pray you would guide me in understanding this verse at a deeper level.  I pray that you would etch this verse on my heart and that I would be able to fully live out the heart behind the words.  In Jesus!  Amen

My Prayer:

Father God!  As I walk into this study, Made to Crave, I am filled with many feelings.  Lord, you know my heart.  You know my struggles with food and with replacing the craving for YOU with cravings for things that give me physical and TEMPORARY satisfaction.  Lord, you have given me such a gift of showing me that ALL these things have and will continue to leave me empty.  God, there is nothing and NO ONE that can fill my heart and soul's deepest longings like You can!  Help me to grasp that understanding at the heart level.  Help me to walk away from all things that pull me away from You.  Lord, I pray to be drawn into a deeper, more intimate relationship with you through this journey.  Grant me strength to do Your will, and Your will alone.  It is in the name of Jesus that I pray!  Amen

My Goal:

This week, my goal is to continue the disciplined food plan I have been following, and to attend one of the live M2C sessions.

 (I entered into a 'fast' 2 weeks ago, and have not had one urge to binge thus far.  I think that one of the reasons God called me into this fast was to change my eating habits.  I have been crying out to Him recently to guide me in my eating.  I do not believe this to be a coincidence.)
It is exactly 3:00 AM as I begin this blogging journey.  I have to say, I have been drawn to this concept of "blogging" for about 3 years now, but have not been able to keep in step with any of the blogging attempts I have started. 

My first blog,,  was a raw, day-by-day emotional journey through the process of becoming a sober alcoholic, walking through an ugly marital separation, recognizing bits and pieces of my broken life, and the process of beginning to pull things together.  I started that blog in the fall of 2010 and continued it consistently through the spring of 2011.  Then, the passion to continue that writing journey just kind of fell away.  I went back a couple of times for an "update" post, but the zeal for that journey was gone.  

In 2012 -13 I started a blog specifically about my journey through recovery from alcoholism. The blog address is   I don't think I'm done with that one, but it feels too specific to really 'branch out' in another direction in my writing.  

So, here I sit.  3:10 AM on Sunday, January 19, 2014.  I feel called to begin a new blogging journey.  The emphasis of this journey is: Today.  For the past 2 years, I have felt called to focus on a particular word.  The word that God placed on my heart this year is the word today.  Each day is such a precious gift.  Today is the very essence of life!  The sad thing is,  I find myself so often lulling over my yesterdays and planning my tomorrows that I have a tendency to miss today!  I sense that this year is going to be a year of todays.  I anticipate a daily dose of writing each day, even though as those words fall from my fingers, I already feel failure looming.  

Therefore, I make the following commitment to myself:  I will take time each day to reflect on today.  There is no word limit.  There is no specific time that I need to write.  At some point between 12:00 AM and 11:59 PM each new day, I commit to writing at least 1 sentence in this blog.  I commit to 365 posts between now and 1/19/2015.  These words will document my journey through the todays of 2014.  I hope you'll take this journey with me.  Who knows what God is going to reveal over the next year?  I am filled with anticipation!